This past Sunday, my son, Isaiah, woke up at 6am and immediately started doing summersaults, making forts, jumping around and, basically, playing hide and seek with himself. My family and I stared at him in complete bewilderment that someone could have so much energy instantly after waking. Isaiah's response--"I make happy of little things." This statement not only perfectly describes Isaiah, but it also provides a lesson for me, one that I've learned countless times (and will surely learn countless more). The French have a phrase that captures this sentiment, "Joie de vivre," the joy of living. We see this joy so clearly in children, and it provides such a beautiful reminder to enjoy life, savor the simple, chase life, and laugh with abandon. I hope today, and everyday, I can adopt my son's perspective, and "make happy of little things."
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Gratitude. That’s the best way to describe this experience. Years ago (like 15 years ago!), I used to teach Sociology at a local community college. It just so happens that recently a former student happened to “google” me and discovered that I’m a Board Certified Life Coach. Well, he happened to contact me and hire me for my coaching services! Crazy, right?! Feeling so blessed that our paths crossed again! I know that this may seem more like a personal plug than a blog piece. However, it is important for me to include this post because of it's meaning. So much of our lives are spent analyzing and ruminating on what's going wrong that we simply don't take the time to celebrate what is going right. Life is filled with abundance--if only we have the eyes to see it. In coaching, we call these "wins and celebrations." So, as I include this post in my blog, I want to celebrate and offer gratitude for the simple yet profound gift of this former student becoming a client. What can I say? It’s a sunglasses kind of day. Tears were shed. More tears were shed. Meanness always hurts, but sometimes it hurts so much you have to wear sunglasses to get though your day. I was forced to check myself, my thoughts and heart. I had to dig deep and remind myself that mean people are usually that way for a reason. I tried to discipline myself to put myself in their shoes, to have grace, to know there are always two sides to every story, to practice the character I value, and ultimately focus on TRUTH. Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl wisely stated that when we can’t change a situation, we are forced to change ourselves. Part of changing myself involved focusing on TRUTH in order to move forward. Sometimes this is easy-peezy, and other times it's sheer discipline. These are the things I focus on during the harder days: 1) Brene Brown: “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.” 2) Viktor Frankl: “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” 3) Richard Rohr: “If you do not transform your pain, you will surely transmit it." So, today, I put one foot in front of the other, choose JOY and TRUTH and wear sunglasses in the meantime. Honored to be a guest speaker on a podcast highlighting change. I have to admit it was a stretch to be recorded for a live podcast, but in the words of Brene Brown and Elizabeth Gilbert, I was “daring greatly” and it was “everything and nothing” at the same time. These were my mantras as I pushed myself out of my comfort zone. What mantras do you use to practice courage? If you are interested in the podcast, here's the link: https://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=52775941&refid=asa Recently, a friend needed help. It was one of "those" days--you know, the type of day when you wonder how it's all going to get done. Well, to make a long story short, I knew I had to make a way to help--because at the end of the day, this is what life is about--not the to-do's, not the extracurricular activities, not the dozens of things vying for my attention. This experience, which seems to happen frequently, because need and suffering are EVERYWHERE, caused to me think about how one of my life mantras is "I hope I'm never too busy." I hope that I'm never too busy to see the need around me. I hope that I'm never too busy to wrap someone up in love. I hope I'm never too busy to extend a helping hand. I hope I'm never too busy to see the hidden pain. I hope I'm never too busy to sacrifice, to give, to see, to love.
As we are all busy during this Christmas season, may we remember that LOVE is truly what matters. Whether it be helping a friend, baking cookies, making a meal, or writing a card, may we all be reminded that LOVE is what makes life. The has never been a more appropriate use of the phrase, TERRIBLE-HORRIBLE-NO GOOD-VERY BAD DAY. However, in this particular instance, it happens to be “MONTH!” Yes, that’s right, month! This month has been filled with illness, injury, loss, grief, mourning and farewells. My mantra for this month, “I choose JOY,” is derived from the wisdom of Holocaust survivor Vicktor Frankl, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” I cannot change what has been, nor can I alter certain aspects of my current situation, but I can choose my freedom—I can choose joy. I can choose to see that with loss comes healing, with every farewell comes a new beginning, with illness comes compassion, and with grief comes the opportunity to grow. There are many aspects of life that we can control, but so many that we cannot. In those instances, we have a choice. What will your choice be? Shameless plug alert! This is not really a blog post, but I simply had to share the wonderful news! I conducted my first "virtual" Life Mapping Workshop Retreat to a group in Seattle, Washington! I am honored to be able to conduct these workshops, and so thankful that it was life-giving through FaceTime! Through the workshops that I have conducted in large, small and virtual settings, participants have conveyed that the life-mapping process was "sacred space," "enlightening and refreshing," and "a wonderful precursor to a much deeper process in my world.” On a professional level, mapping one's life is a powerful tool that builds awareness and discovery. On a personal level, I can honestly say that life-mapping has been one of the most transformative processes I've experienced. Locals, if you have a group who would like to enjoy a refreshing and unique retreat, please let me know--I can conduct the workshop in person! And for my non-local friends, please reach out--I'm now global! I truly love my job! My sweet daughter is a budding life coach! 😊 Lilly made this little notecard to remind herself of courage and bravery: “If your dreams don’t scare you, you are not dreaming hard enough.” I am one proud Mama, not just because she made the notecard, but also because she is living it. Recently, her best friends were chosen to play the Varsity basketball games. Instead of being jealous and sad, Lilly chose to do something. She worked her heart out, running at 7am with her Dad and practicing extra on the weekends. In addition, with tremendous courage, she talked with the coach about how she could improve and guess what happened?! She’s playing the Varsity games too. “If your dreams don’t scare you, you’re not dreaming hard enough.” Lilly experienced fear and disappointment, but allowed it to be fuel rather than a setback. Again, one proud Mama over here! Stephen R. Covey wrote about a powerful life lesson in his book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” Covey explains, “I remember a mini-paradigm shift I experienced one Sunday morning on a subway in New York. People were sitting quietly—some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene. Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed. The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people’s papers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing. It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive as to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all. It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too. So finally, with what I felt was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, ‘Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more?’ The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, ‘Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don’t know what to think, and I guess they don’t know how to handle it either.” I can’t even begin to imagine the mortification Covey experienced in that subway. Wait a minute! Actually I do. I mean, we all do. We make judgements about the people surrounding us—the woman with her unruly child, the gentleman who angrily speaks to a grocer, the child who kicks his brother, etc. And in that moment, we forget that each of us carry a story. So, instead of judging those around us, let’s embrace an attitude of love and understanding, and most of all, grace. Once Covey realized the magnitude of the situation, he says, “Suddenly I SAW things differently, I FELT differently, I BEHAVED differently. . . Everything changed in an instant.” How can we all remember that each of us carries a story? How can we embrace love and kindness rather than judgement? Amidst the play dates and vacations over the summer, one of my favorite activities with our children centered around giving. Instead of being consumed with having fun this summer, we decided that we wanted to be intentional, incorporating ideas like "random acts of kindness" and "pay it forward." So, we decided that the theme of our summer would be GIVING--from writing cards, leaving quarters in gum ball machines, attaching dollars to treats in the dollar store to buying groceries and making meals, the kids tried to think outside themselves. Just a couple days ago, we met a woman at the store and as we left, the children said they wanted to buy her a Starbucks gift card. I was touched, but what really blew me away is that they insisted that they use their own money! DON'T GET ME WRONG, our lives are filled with classic meltdowns, drama, selfishness; and truth be told, these little giving adventures involved fighting and even tears!! Oh, yes indeed. These are all small steps, but my prayer is that these small steps over time become an active mindset to see the needs that are everywhere. Ann Voskamp, in The Broken Way, says that "if your living isn't about giving, you're already dying." My hope is that these little seeds of giving will enable our kids to know that the HEARTBEAT OF LIVING IS GIVING. Now, LET'S BE REAL, whenever we read posts like this, our natural human tendency is to feel inadequate, do a heavy sigh, eye-roll, want to gag, etc. I know this because I've been there. But, I'm writing this post with the sincerest desire that we live with intention and the mindset of giving. Big or small steps, it all counts! How can you incorporate intentional acts of giving and kindness into your life? |
UpdateIt's hard to believe, but I have been in business for almost 7 years! As my business has grown, I have decided to take a break from blog posts and focus my attention on providing specialty services, some of which include Purpose Clarity Coaching, Life Map Coaching, and Enneagram Spectrum of Personality Types Coaching. I have received certifications in each of these areas (accredited certifications for CEU through the Center for Credentialing and Education). While I miss interfacing with you through this blog, I am excited to offer additional services to my clients. Please enjoy my blog archives. Archives
December 2020
CategoriesAuthorOne committed to processing truth, finding light in the darkness, savoring the simple, and living fully.
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