Have you shared a part of yourself to only have another invalidate your feelings . . . or worse, try to one-up you? I think many, if not most of us, have been there, either as a witness or a recipient. It wounds as the recipient and makes me cringe as a witness. I’ve learned and will continue to learn the life-long lesson—it isn’t about me. Ultimately, the attack, the disparaging words, the eye-roll, the sigh . . . it’s not about me, it’s about them. It’s not about you; it’s about them.
So, in a world where the hurt is inevitable, what can you do? For me, I try, and at times through tears and pain, remind myself of that truth—and to be honest, sometimes I have to practically tape a note to my head—IT’S NOT ABOUT ME. Now, it is just as pervasive to see others wounded by a callous word or act. What can you do? Here I am reminded of the words of Ann Voskamp, “We aren’t here to one-up another, but to help one another up.” So, when I witness the wound, the sting, the bleeding , I receive my marching orders—give, lend, comfort, encourage, reassure . . . love. Treat the wounded the way I want to be treated. As with most things that matter, it can be hard to put into practice BUT always worth its weight in gold.
Happy Mother’s Day Eve! I have a confession. I used to be a Mom-Zilla on Mother’s Day. I used to wake up on Mother’s Day and expect the Disneyland light show! Yes, I did. 🥴 And, as you can imagine, every year I would be disappointed (even though my sweet husband went out of his way to spoil me). Several years ago, I realized how I was getting in the way of my own joy! I was the only one stopping me from having a special Mother’s Day. So, I created my own tradition of buying myself flowers and making a tea party for my family. I also take family pics on Mother’s Day because, for those of you who know me well, pictures are my love language! So, my dear friend, if you are anything like me and have been disappointed on Mother’s Day, please do something for yourself. Do what you love. Reframe your expectations, celebrate the wonderful Mom you know you are, and enjoy your sweet children! Happy Mother’s Day!!
Can you believe it?! We are already into the 4th--yes, 4th--month of the year! How are your goals? If you are like most, myself included, that motivation is starting to fizzle. I came across this quote several years ago and its truth remains with me: “Be stubborn about your goals, and flexible about your methods.” What once worked may not work now. What you are doing now may not be the best fit. What others are doing may not resonate with you. However, what remains is this: YOU! Your spirit! Be stubborn, my friend. It may take trial and error, but if you can be open to trying new methods, you may just reach your goal.
Do you want to know one of the secrets to success. I recently read in "The Happiness Advantage" by Shawn Achor that, "It turns out that our brains are literally hardwired to perform at their best not when they are negative or even neutral, but when they are positive." Do you want to experience more fulfilling relationships? Do you want to perform better at work? Do you want to simply experience more joy? It appears that part of the answer lies in embracing positivity.
So, how can we foster positivity in our lives? One of my go-to's is a gratitude journal. There is so much going on in life. So many hurdles, so many challenges, so many things that simply don't turn out the way I had hoped. One of the ways that I persevere through these ups and downs is through gratitude. When I focus on the positive, it multiplies my joy and creates the habit to see all the gifts amidst the pain. Warm, cozy sheets to look forward to each night. Healthy legs that can hike up mountains and swim through streams. A schedule full of events that are productive and fulfilling. Ultimately, gratitude produces positivity, unlocking the ability to perform at my best. How can you incorporate positivity into your daily life?
I blinked and somehow it’s the end of February! I missed the MOST opportune time to post about a new year and new goals. BUT, I missed it for a very good reason! I was trying to practice what I preach—to live with courage, embrace your gifts and do what you love! For me, coaching and teaching are the ways I live my best self. And, by the grace of God, I taught another class and LOVED it! How are you using your gifts? What goals are you working toward this year?
David J. Schwartz, in The Magic of Thinking Big, states, "The how-to-do-it always comes to the person who believes he can do it." So many of us have dreams and goals. You know, those deep desires that have long laid dormant since you've become a parent or received that new job. Or, maybe the goal is staring you right in the face, like losing 10 pounds or learning to play that guitar that's been sitting in the corner of your room for a couple of years. We don't usually lack the desire or the dream; sadly, we lack the belief in our abilities So, before thinking about "how" you are going to achieve your goal, first focus on ALL that you possess to achieve that goal. Think about your strengths and consider your accomplishments--you didn't get where you are now by accident. YOU were and are the main ingredient. So, as you strive to achieve your next goal, remember that one of the most important aspects of this journey is not the "how to" but the belief in yourself.
We all know that this time of year is busy. Beyond busy. It is quite unfortunate given this is my favorite time of year. It seems to pass by in a blink of an eye, even when I try celebrating in November and throughout January [yes, I do--haters don't hate:)] . . . and then it occurred to me--the only way I can savor this season is to "pause." Pause to savor the twinkling Christmas lights. Pause to taste the warm and comforting eggnog. Pause to hear the sweet children sing Christmas carols. Pause to remember the birth of my Lord and Savior. Pause. How can you pause today?
Small Business Saturday (November 24th)! Thank you for all of your love, encouragement, and positivity! Although it may sound cliché, I am beyond blessed to be a life coach. When I partner with a client, I literally get an adrenaline rush--you know, that same feeling you get after working out or that magical feeling you get when your entire house is clean! Yes, that's how I feel about coaching! There is nothing like it! Thank you, once again, for all of your support! It means more than you know.
How can you shop small? How can you live out your dreams? How can you make your life happen?
Another life lesson. Learned over and over again. Feelings get hurt, and I can't help but feel like a Junior Higher all over again. Isn't that the way adulthood is sometimes? We find ourselves in situations where we are misunderstood, it's a "he-said-she-said," or worse, someone makes disparaging remarks about you. What can we do? Well, I came across these wise words from Rachel Hollis recently and it was a great reminder and exactly what I needed to hear to move forward. It's none of my business. It-is-none-of-my-business. Ahhh. Big sigh of relief. So, while I acknowledge the hurt involved, what I do to move forward is park my mind in a spot that brings wholeness and positivity. Yes, this is easier said that done, but this discipline (to focus on truth) has enabled me to overcome many challenges. And so, as I move through my day (s), this is my mantra, "Someone else's opinion of me is none of my business."
This is my favorite time of year (well, I guess second to Christmas)! The crisp morning air, the color of the leaves, and the celebration of everything pumpkin--it's the perfect environment to start fresh. We often think of New Year's as the prime time to start fresh. However, I find that Fall is a beautiful season to revive that which feels broken. The changing of this season provides a remarkable metaphor for the opportunity for growth and restoration. As the leaves ripen and fall of the branch, a dormant environment is created for new growth.
Right now, many of us may feel a bit worn down from the year. We may be discouraged by forgotten resolutions and tired from the demands of the year. Let's take the timely lesson from nature, and use this time to explore our hearts and minds and nurture ourselves. This time of reflection, where we feel like the branch with no leaves, can provide a crop of renewed energy, clarity and purpose. Let's take make the most of these cozy nights, cuddled up with a blanket, to self-nurture--and so create a harvest of growth.
One committed to processing truth, finding light in the darkness, savoring the simple, and living fully.